• inside there's an army waiting (for their marching orders from you)

Every good guy comes back.

• The dashboard melted (but we still had the radio)

In 2009, Jensen got a new team, fell stupid in love, and learned about sharks, the great organizing principle of the universe and crushing chest injuries. Not necessarily in that order.

• Juliet on the radio

It's a beautiful morning, somewhere out in space, and Cougar has a new Operator.

• Pants, swagger, and other things to bring to a gunfight

Five people who've seen Jensen naked. To be fair, it's mostly not his fault.

• By daybreak we'll be gone

Once you go into the woods, you don’t come back out again; or, how Franklin Clay got himself a pack.

• [untitled]

For the inspired prompt, "From the same arms dealers that brought you environmentally-friendly nukes, the latest in non-lethal chemical weapons: sex pollen!" So very NC-17, team free-for-all!

• [untitled]

For the prompter who suggested a little femslash wouldn't go astray in this sausage-fest, the Scooter Girls, aka Jensen and Cougar's ride to the cemetery to meet Aisha. NC-17 again, and complete failure of the Bechdel test, I'm sorry to report.

• [untitled]

Last up, for the prompter who wanted slow, steady, coming-down Cougar/Jensen, and it got a little sad on me. Cougar/Jensen, R.

• [untitled]

Warnings for snogging and sex, hurray!

• día de los muertos (or, fifteen things the losers gave to the dead)

It's the one holiday they actually mark with any kind of consistency

• Next of kin (we're all born renegades)

The first time Jensen meets Max, he's cuffed to a chair with a dislocated jaw. Things don't improve significantly from this point onwards.

• These things get louder (or, five times the losers met the a-team)

"That's the thing about the revenge business," says Jensen. "It doesn't pay much, but you meet the most interesting people." Or, five times the Losers met the A-Team, and somehow managed to walk away with a minimum of property damage.

• 17 tattoos

Show me a man with a tattoo, and I'll show you a man with an interesting past. - Jack London

• Half your life is over (if you're lucky)

Jensen once drove a humvee through a night rocket attack in Afghanistan with no batteries in his NVGs. This is probably worse.

• The first eight don't count

Cats, man. Not to be trusted.